Have you been procrastinating on starting your cult? There has never been a better time to start one than now.
If you suffer from narcissistic personality disorder and can’t live without having a constant stream of admirers, starting a cult is a great way to satisfy your need for attention.
Life brings with it physical hardships that a person like you shouldn’t have to endure alone. Having a cult of loyal followers also means not having to lift a finger when things get tough. In this blog post, we’re going to do a quick rundown on how to start your very own personality cult.
What is a personality cult?
A personality cult (or “cult of personality”) is a cult of followers who unconditionally admire and follow a single charismatic leader. America’s Charles Manson and North Korea’s Kim Jong-un are some recent examples.
Below are eight simple steps to have your personality cult up and running by the time “the big one” hits.
Step 1: Define the Belief System of Your Cult
Every cult needs a compelling narrative for followers to latch onto. Get creative, but stay realistic; your cult’s story should be impossible to disprove. Will an alien spaceship arrive on Earth in the year 2040 to retrieve only the “true believers”? Can 5G towers activate dormant COVID-19 pathogens in our bodies? Do you have Jesus on speed dial?
Your cult and belief system will come under harsh scrutiny by non-believers. Mark Manson writes that you should “bake into your core tenets some beliefs that invalidate anything that contradicts the belief.”
For example, an anti-vax cult could argue that anyone who thinks vaccines are safe is brainwashed by Big Pharma. This invalidates any further claims that these sheeple might spout against you and your cult.
Step 2: Find Followers
Your followers are likely to be people from the middle or upper-middle classes of society but don’t limit yourself. Anyone with a mix of high intelligence and low self-confidence will be perfect.
People who join cults often share specific characteristics, including having a lack of fulfillment in life. These people see themselves as outsiders even though they may present themselves as extroverts. They are spiritually-exhausted and empty-handed from seeking meaning to their life.
Finally, believe it or not, they also tend to be gullible and naive. This makes it easy to help them manifest a sense of “incompleteness” at the hands of the outside world.
Step 3: Spread Rumors About Yourself
Use your more extroverted and gullible cult members to spread favorable rumors about you within the cult. Make sure that the rumors can’t be traced back to you. The rumors should reinforce the belief that you are a super-human being and a God in the sack.
Step 4: Earthly Possessions = Bad
Instill in your followers the notion that earthly possessions are superficial and selfish. After all, once they fulfill the desires of the cult in the current world, they won’t have any need for material things. This belief will help you to accumulate your own earthly possessions that are very necessary for your standard of living.
Your more affluent followers may also have specific resources that you will need further down the line, such as political connections, vast wealth, and land. Asking for these “gifts” is a common practice for great leaders, and is to be expected. Eventually, you will need these resources to construct a compound for your cult and have a nice piggy bank for yourself.
Encourage all followers to reach deep to prove their loyalty to you. Sit back and collect that fat $$$. Be smart. Always keep cash on hand for when you and your ten wives need to flee the country without leaving a paper trail.
Step 5: Establish Your Inner Circle
Establishing an inner circle of your closest and most loyal followers serves many purposes. They will be your main way of relaying messages to cult members. By this point, you should cut off direct communication between yourself and “normie” followers. Under no circumstances should any of them feel that they can address you directly.
The hierarchical structure that an inner circle creates reinforces the “trickle-up” concept of subordination. The idea is that if followers behave and please you, they can “move up.”
Finally, you can use your inner circle of followers to relay back any problems within the cult. All it takes is one bad apple to spoil the bunch. Having a “man/woman on the street” will allow you to deal with problematic members right away.
Step 6: Isolate Your Cult
Cut off any contact followers have with the outside world. A popular method is to build a cult compound that is separate from the rest of society. This needs to feel like a safe space where the cult can freely practice their beliefs. Something with a fence or barrier that can be guarded 24/7 is best.
Limit media consumption
Isolation includes cutting off or limiting access to media and news from the outside world. Use the reasoning that these are the tools of mainstream media to brainwash the unworthy.
Step 7: Keep Followers Distracted
Downtime is the enemy of your cult. When members have time to think, they could start to question whether you are just a mentally ill narcissist who is taking advantage of them. To prevent this, keep their minds and bodies busy at all times.
Creating a system of habits and daily tasks in the compound is an excellent way to keep followers occupied. Similar to a 9-to-5 job, these routines will break down whatever remains of their identity and self-worth.
Remember the way Americans used to have to stop and pledge allegiance to the flag in school? You should play pre-recorded rants over a speaker system in the compound before every meal to reinforce the messaging.
Everything is a test
When a cult member is starting to become disillusioned with the group’s beliefs, remind all followers about the punishment that awaits non-believers. Better yet, let them know that their doubts about you and the cult are a test to prove their worth to you. Will they pass or fail?
Step 8: Keep Recruiting
Keeping a stream of fresh minds to indoctrinate in your cult will keep your ranks filled out. Recruits bring with them new avenues of gifts and resources.
In closing, starting a cult brings with it many benefits during the apocalypse. You’ll have luxuries that you might not even have now in the pre-apocalyptic world. Have you started a cult of your own? Let me know how it’s going for you in the comments.